sooz

oh, sweeeeeet. yeah. I'm a fucking idiot.

anything, always? love you kiddo? infuriating, simply infuriating.

someone come and clean my kitchen please. I'll pay you. seriously. wah wah, I'm fucking off life.

hello, tanqueray and tonic. hello, shit sunday night movie. hello, couch.

I must be the most irritatingly irrational person ever. Tut tut I can never make my mind up. Aaah well he's a big boy, he'll live.

Nights in the house alone are driving me crazzzayyy, but having commitments on what seems to be five nights out of seven is also killing me. Ho-hummm nothing's ever good enough! Haha.

I kinda miss my family but then as soon as I visit them I just wanna leave ... they're all good eggs but fuck they're hard people to live with.

I really am just rambling on ... I find at the moment I have no train of thought to speak of. So distracted, so very distracted. I'm also never satisfied with what I eat. No matter how full I am there's something, just one thing that I want to still eat but I can't name it. I just can't seem to find middleground with anything at the moment! Hummm I sound like I'm whinging, but I really am extremely happy with my life right now. Just fingers crossed I don't have to leave here in a month. I don't wanna find a new place, and have to live by myself. I wanna live with someone. Just coming home to someone is such a lovely feeling. Oh listen to me ... ramble, ramble! Haha. Night night, I'm off to wash the dishes. xxx

blah blah blah my life is falling apart wah wah wah

I came home the other morning and every window and door in my house was open and nothing was taken. I was actually shaking with fear. Maybe I don't want to live alone. Maybe there's a lot of things I don't want that I thought I wanted. Hmm. Maybe I don't want to be caught up with guys who are either fucking jerks or too nice for their own good. Maybe I don't want my best friend to move away, even if it might be for the best.
Wah wah wah wah wah...

On a far better note, the supermarket near me stocks all flavours of tofutti ice cream and most of the soy delicious flavours! AND TOFUTTI FUDGESICLE BARS!! It's like a mini vegan heaven, all 10 minutes from my house! Also, how fucking good are leafy green vegies and almonds?!

FUCK it's always no options or two options. why can't it ever be one straight forward, simple, clear option?? It's always, always this way.

Svet, I need to call you! But it's like midnight! :(

In other news, work is good. My back is fucked. I lost my phone. I have a new house number/address coz I've moved to northcote! I will get a new mobile with my old number sometime in the next few days. I'm loving having an ipod. There's no food in my house. Hell yeeaahhh boi

xxx

You know what? I really like my job. I actually really, really like this job. It's great knowing I'm booking people on holidays and honeymoons, on trips to see their family and friends.

In other news... well there is none. Hahaha I'm so boring at the moment! I've barely been out recently mainly coz I just can't be bothered. I can't wait for falls, it's going be awesome being away from melbourne for a few days with so many of my friends there.

Soiya xo

hmm I've had one call in the half an hour I've been sitting here ....

walking to the train station to go to work while the moon is still clearly visible and it's still dark is weird as ... its so not natural!!

I don't know how to go on personal time so that I can go and get some water ... uerghhhhhh

xxx

ps. that one call wasn't even a saleee :(

F-U VTAC!!! WAY TO NOT HAVE AN APPROPRIATE SERVER SET UP TO DEAL WITH THE ONSLAUGHT OF THIS MORNING ... I JUST WANT TO KNOW MY FRICKIN ENTER ALREADY FARKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

oh hai guy I got a study score of 45 in english yah .. but I still wanna know my actual enter grrr

EDIT : okayz I got 89.65 ... kewl

apparently I got the highest english score in the school? bahahaha I did no work for english

hahaha hmmm I had a run in with some hot water ... now I have a burn on my tummy. it's all oozy and gross! my brother nearly spewed when he saw it bahahahaha. doesn't matter, it'll heal soon enough

I am going on a dinner picnic in the zoo with my family tonight, and I am really looking forward to it. I am also looking forward to monday coz I will start working and also see svet for the first time in like two whole entire weeks!!!! excitement to the maxxxxx

Im gunna go drink some coffeeeee coz we have a proper coffee machine now! xo

ps. my holiday in mount eliza was absolutely awesome, it was great to get away from the city for an entire weeek!

IVE FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL FOREVAHHHH!!!!!!!!

also, I had tacos and beer for dinner which was grand

that is all. xo

clearly I jinxed myelf with my last journal ... I had to leave my maths exam today to spew .... NOT GOOD! I feel very, very, very yuck...

soooooo .. I'm three-fifths of the way through my exams now (YAY!), and what do I find when I get home this afternoon? MY MUM SPEWING BECAUSE SHE HAS GASTRO! oh noezz this is bad news. also my big brother has it ... if I catch it I will be offfit in the hugest way possible!!

I'm going to bed ... I have a maths exam tomorrow ... blergh! night xoxox



ps. svet, you should really pick up your phone, you stupido, I want details from the weekend....

It's outta control, I need to lose some weight just to drop a cup size ... my back is killing me at the moment! I am really really bad at making myself study ... like I'm really really struggling this year to do anything, anything at all!! I have zero motivation guhhhh

Gus and gemma gave me season one of the OC on dvd for my 18th ... BAD MOVE! I have already watched like half of it eeekk bad sooz!

I have my valedicitory tomorrow ... aka boring! spending a night around people who I, for the most part, dislike. but I'm getting dumplings before hand with my girlssss from school so that makes it worth the effort.

Being eighteen is boring I haven't even properly been out yet, I guess I'll do that after exams... I smell like garlic and fake tan a bit grossss combo ... now I'm just rambling so I'll leave it here.

adios amigos! xo

PS HOW GOOD IS THIS WARM WEATHER!!!!

I'm home from schooooool already, good to see my teacher's taking stuff so ~seriously~ aka being away on leave right before I have exams!

I finish in less than a month now, for good. I'm eighteen in eight days ... scary shit ey.

I want miso soup but there's no miso paste left .. grrrr!

svet are you at work? can you call my house phone during your break and then I'll call you back? gosh I hope you read this.

this wireless internet is shitty and keeps fucking up I'm so sick of it!

no more complaining I'm gunna go eat an apple

tata xoxox

I had a dream last night that I was in love with a crocodile ... like actually in love. and then he wouldnt let me go and ate me. hmmm meanings in dreams anyone? hahaha!

I just baked a cake with my little brother, sometimes he's good at living.

holidays are good, this weather is good, studying is actually okaaay!

I'm probably just extremely happy coz madball is in two sleepsssss yesssss

xoxox

so, I love svet. yep. also love warmer weather. and dresses. school is almost over ... within 2 months I will have finished. for good! EEEK.

I hate thinking I'm ovvvverrrr it, but then I see something that makes me feel weak and dizzy and like my body is on fire ... I'm prettttty shitty at letting go.

people should definitely come out this weekend. or to public bar on monday. this post is pointless ha

xoxox

offffff it

listening to brand new

sick of sitting in court

sick of listening to the fucking murderer's lawyer's bullshit ... "did xavier JUMP in front of the taxi?"

WHO THE FUCK JUMPS IN FRONT OF A TAXI

sick off everything

want someone to spoon

whinging, clearly

ignore this

ugh

ps. someone bring me a bottle of red wine and a nice boy

but seriously .. ignore this .. I'll probably delete this anyway. emo shiiiiitttt

My weekend has been good (except that I didn't get to see svet or haydy) ... but I feel like shit, and I'm not quite sure why.

I want school to be over and, hence, summer to be here, so I can spend long afternoons in svet's pseudo-backyard in a blow up pool drinking coopers sparkling longnecks. I am also a bit love-lonely. No good.

In other news, nut roast is good. Maybe it's just coz I like cashews heaps. Also, I am 18 very soon ... in maybe a month and a half? Swoit.

Toooodles. xox

i'm in a games networking place

lal

people are playing counterstrike and shiiiitttt it's wack!

hahaha I'm gunna be so fat by the end of exams ....

today I had to write three essays (I've written one and a half so far eeeek!) and I've been struggling and the only way I can motivate myself is if I'm like "okay, just write 600 words and then you can go have tofutti better than cream cheese on bread/ginger snap cookies/peanut butter and plum jam on toast/french toast..." I'm seeing a bit of a carbohydrate-theme here ... ohhhhh

me + bikini will not go down well if this trend continues!

joisus really I'm just here procrastinating ... fark. okaiz baiz

ps. I have to write 600-700 words on Hellenistic Age coins, and how their Classical Heritage has helped influence the Western Tradition. Then I get to eat some French toast. uergh

hahahaha a pack of goths just walked past my house!~

life is good, except for how cold it is at the moment. I am looking forward to my 18th and the end of school - both are approaching fast and I'm glad.

okaaaaaai baiiiiii

ps. my chocolate and peanut butter cupcakes rulzzzzzzzz!